A comedy of errors: My first powerlifting meet

A comedy of errors: My first powerlifting meet

by Scott Schirmer

Originally I had an idea for an article on some hurdles I dealt with in my first year of training. I had even got the first few paragraphs written but decided to wait to finish it till after my first meet which was a week or two away. In this time things that “could only happen to me” kept coming and coming right into the meet. I decided with all this it was too funny not to switch tracks and pass along my story.

A quick backdrop: I joined TPS in Boston mass, January of this year, after being fed up trying to teach myself out of every magazine I could find at a commercial gym for about 4 years. I was 35 years old and a whopping 162 lbs after a quest to get a six pack. Those years yielded very little in results, but got myself a few injuries. I wanted to learn to lift correctly. This was my main goal. When you sign up at TPS you get to free member orientations with a trainer. I met with Dustin, went over a dynamic warm up, some goals and then we squatted. My squat wasn’t all the bad, and he started to work on some technique issues and boom at least a 30lb PR. I was hooked. I hired Dustin as a coach and the journey began.

After about 3 or for months I read an article on EliteFTS, “Do you train or workout” by Dave Disney. It was a great article about Dave training for his first powerlifting meet and not just working out. It got me thinking. Next training session I told Dustin “I think I want to train for a meet”. Now I was nervous even asking him. I was by no means strong, especially compared to the guys in this gym. He thought it was a great idea. It turned out TPS was putting on its own meet in October in right around the corner from the gym. We set some goals, Dustin got to work on my program and before i knew it the meet was right around the corner. Now fast forward to about 2 weeks out, when it seemed like I couldn’t get out of my own way and Murphy’s Law kept smacking me in the face. (Murph’s note: that bastard Murphy always stows along for the ride at the worst times)

I am actually going to go back a bit because this was too good not to tell. It was test day about 2 months out from the meet, and the lift was the squat. I hit a 10 lb. pr and decided to add 5 more lbs. Dustin was checking my set up and two of the guys from the gym were side spotting. Now earlier I had a bad case of heartburn but just brushed it off because it happens often. I unrack the weight, walk it out, get tight and take a big belly full of air pushing tight against my belt. I hit the hole, get a good rebound and then proceeded to projectile vomit a good couple of feet in front of me. I was shocked to say the least. I lost all my tightness and missed the lift. Strangely everybody including myself was just laughing our asses off. The only thing that sucked is cleaning up the puke and not grinding that puke squat out for a PR. It would have made the story so much better!

I strolled into the gym ready for my last deadlift session before we tested the next week. As I was badging in the front desk girl informed me that one of my payments for coaching didn’t go through. It seems my credit card was denied. This was strange and a little embarrassing. Turns out good old Bank of America never sent my electronic payment. As this mess is getting cleared up, Dustin happened to behind the desk. He looks at me with a strange face, paperwork in his hand. “Dude, did you even sign up for the meet yet?” The paperwork was the roster and my name wasn’t on it and it said all spots were filled. I knew I had signed up at least 3 months ago. I remembered filling out the application but had no idea what credit card I put it on. I started to freak out thinking all this work I did in the past 6 months and I’m not going to be able to compete. I searched all my emails for a receipt, no luck. Then I sent the guy who runs the meet an email explaining all the happened. Still crazy in my head I went to get my training in. My mind was racing. In Between sets of deadlifts, I told Dustin, after the deadlift I had to go home and figure this out, I couldn’t concentrate so no way I was doing accessory work. He told me to check my PayPal account because that’s how you had to pay. Sure enough there it was… disaster averted. I could breathe a little easier and finish my training for the day. Well let’s just say I should have called it short. My head still wasn’t on right. Glute Ham raises were next. I hopped up the GHR and was going to start my first set. Well, it didn’t go as planned. Evidently they work better if you hook your feet in, which I did not! I went ass over tea kettle landing straight on my head. It was not an easy fall my neck was killing me but my ego hurt more. I jumped up, looked around and to my amazement no one seemed to see. What a relief. On way out after I finished, and older guy stopped me: “hey did you mean to do a flip of the thing?” No I did not, but thanks for noticing.

I decided to weigh in the night before. I had dropped a few lbs to make sure I made the 181 class but wanted that extra time to make sure I ate enough to help fuel me for the next. I hopped on the scale, 176, no problem. Then came the surprise of being asked for my openers. This totally caught off guard. I had taken all my openers the week before but seemed to be coming up blank. I gave some numbers, then realized when I got home I was 15 lbs short on squat and bench. I didn’t realize till the next day that this would affect my 2nd and third attempts making the jumps much bigger than my coach wanted.

Ahh meet day is finally here! I was in the PM session so I had plenty of time to eat, relax and be nervous. I went out for a big breakfast, and even took time to do a 20 minute guided meditation to try and calm my nerves. I seemed to be in control. I packed my bag with clothes and a bunch of food. All covered. The only thing is when i got to the meet, after about ten minutes I somehow realized I didn’t pack my Chucks to lift in! Luckily I only lived fifteen minutes away and had a little time before the rules meeting so one more crisis averted.

I was back in plenty of time for the rules meeting. So I was watching the AM session lifters and talking with a few people when I hear my name being yelled. I look towards the door and its Dustin: “ Scott, what the hell are you doing, they are going over the rules outside!” Somehow I missed the announcement. By the time I got out there I had missed about half of it. After Dustin says: ”of course you were the only one to miss the announcement”.

Now it’s finally time to start warming up for squats. I started my warm up sets that Dustin laid out for me. I was opening at 240lbs (was supposed to be 255). My last warm up was I believe 200 for a single. I had my headphones on trying to get myself psyched up which I have a hard time doing. I get under the bar, unrack it, walk it out, hit the hole, and totally lose it falling forward on my toes. The spotters have to grab it and help me put it back on the lift. To say this was embarrassing was an understatement, not to mention it wasn’t a real confidence booster right before I walk on the platform for the first time. Dustin wasn’t too happy either. “Take those fucking headphones off, take a breath, focus and take that again!!” I did as I was told and nailed it. I felt a tiny bit better, but not much.

Now comes the cherry on top of this great sundae! My name gets called to take my first squat! I was pretty much shaking with nerves and just wanted to get it done and out of the way. Heart was pounding as i step up to the bar. As I was about to duck under I hear one of the judges yell “ hey, you have to put your straps up on your singlet!” Oh shit!! Now I already have my belt on as tight as I can get it. So I have to take that off to get at the straps. Then someone says “you still got your shorts on!” Panic and embarrassment are kicking into high gear. I had heard the rule about having 1 minute from when your name is called to actually make your lift and i didn’t want to be called on that. I ripped my belt off. The draw string in my shorts was tied so i just pulled down as hard as I could to get them off. Shorts are off, so I go to pull my singlet straps up over my shoulders. What the hell….. where are the straps? Well the straps along with the rest of my singlet were in a ball on the floor. They had come off with my shorts!!!! I was horrified. On the bright side I did have compression shorts on underneath, as I’ve been known to go commando from time to time. Not only that it was no inside out and i had to untangle it before I could put it back on. Luckily the owner of my gym was also a judge. I heard him say “Slow down.” then “it’s his first meet….. Why does it always have to be one of my guys.” After getting redressed i got to the bar and hit my opener.

After I hit my opener and got that fiasco out of the way. It was a giant weight off my shoulders. Now was I calm as a cucumber from the rest of the meet? Hell no!! The nerves calmed a little but not much. The only other folly of the day was being so amped up that I beat the bench command on my opener for 3 red lights.

The reason I decided to write about all this is because even through all of this it was one of the best days of my life! It was also one of my biggest accomplishments. Not because I set a world record, actually i believe I had the lowest total in the PM session, but because I trained my ass off and fought threw some dig demons to step on that platform! I went 8 for 9, for a total of 790. 275 squat (10lb pr), 175 bench (5lb pr) and 340 deadlift (20lb pr). I came up 10 lbs shy of an 800lb which I knew would be a stretch. I even won first place in my division. Yeah I was the only one it but what the hell I’ll take the trophy. The next meet is in March. I just received my program for the next training cycle and can’t wait to get back to work. Hopefully the next meet with go just a little bit smoother!

Scott Schirmer